Any time you find a comment like this one in your OFFICIAL DOCUMENTATION (sorry, I'll try to stop yelling now):

Note: The code examples below are out of date. Currently, the code itself is the best resource for understanding the API. In particular, search for “new Zotero.Item” and “Zotero.Items.get()” to learn how to create and update items, respectively.

... you don't really have documentation at all. For heaven's sake, people. If you pretend to have a popular open source project, keep your docs up to date. Nothing better than being forced to [psycho-]analyze the cyborg with only the cybernetic parts available for view.

Take. The. Worthless. Docs. Down. (PLS!)

All in all, a really inauspicious start to my Zotero coding project.